Posted at 9:07 pm on Jun 30, 2017 by:
Red Spyder (Dual Core Champion)
Maybe a horse will kick you in the head.
Red quickly climbed out of the horse trough, watching Spade gallop away.
While the water had washed away most of the manure, it hadn't helped with the smell. In fact, it seemed to have somehow made the smell worse.
Spotting a nearby, parked wagon, Red crept over and peered into the back to find a few pieces of luggage. Opening one of the cases, he found replacement clothes, a hat included. Grabbing them, he ran away before the owner returned and shot him. Ending up behind a building, he peeled off his wet, smelly clothes, leaving them in a pile in the dirt, before putting on his new clothes. The crotch was a little tight, but this was relieved some when he freed the Beef again. Looking down at it, he said, "Okay, find me a horse!"
The Beef squeaked like a mouse in response and pulled Red forward, leading him around to the front of the building, which was a saloon. It stopped in front of a woman whose jaw dropped at the sight of the massive penis. She licked her lips and reached out to touch it.
Red wasn't in the mood however and said, "I said HORSE! Not WHORE!"
Red walked away, but the woman followed. "From the look of that beast between your legs, I'd say you're in far more need of a whore than a horse, sugar. This whore would be happy to help."
Red paused, seriously considering the offer. The Beef was certainly interested, swelling and making a puddle of pre-cum on the wooden sidewalk. He'd made a promise to Angel that he'd stop fucking other women though. He didn't always remember that he was supposed to stop, but this time he did. Without looking at the woman, he said, "Fuck off."
There were several people passing by on different horses.
Stepping into the street, Red waited for one to near and grabbed the rider, yanking them off of their horse and slamming them to the ground. Climbing onto the horse himself, which started freaking out over the presence of the Beef and tried to throw Red off, he eventually headed in the direction his opponents and the bandits.
The road led down a hill towards a wide river. Near the edge of the river were clusters of trees. No one was visible.
Despite that, Red felt like he was on the right path and continued forward, speeding his horse up before it was too late. "Where are they? I have to get that belt."
Nearing the trees, Red saw the horses stolen by Spade and Hra'gad, now left behind. Through the branches, he could barely see a building, likely the bandits' hideout. He was guessing his opponents had decided to sneak up on the house, but he decided to take a more direct approach, riding the horse around the trees until he was in front of a two-story house.
The bandits' wagon was there and they could be heard talking and laughing inside the house. The house was right on the bank of the river. Many of its windows were boarded up. It was a forgotten location. The owners of the house had probably either abandoned it and the bandits came across it later or the bandits killed the owners for it.
Hopping off the horse, Red approached the front door and yelled, "Listen up, assholes! I want my title belt! You can either bring it to me or I'll come in and get it!"