MWE Emergence [07/16/2017]: Battle Royale

[Shi Dorsu​jun Ku]

All the while, Missy was beside herself along with Amile at the unfortunate luck of not having their champion.... Asstin.... be here!

In the ring, Shi rose from the ground after tripping over Gunther's ding dong. Shokuo was also screaming at the top of his lung too- which just enrages Shi further to the point that he quite literately powered Gunther up over his head! Even at that point Gunther was singing until Shi decided to fling Gunther face-first into one of the ring poles. The force was so surreal that it caused Gunther to sling-shot into the air in which Shi quickly grabbed Gunther by his head, with both of Shi's hands, snapped Gunter's neck on the fallback.

Franco observed the attack on Gunther with careful notice and re-joined the fray with a slide-kick into Shi's chest as Shi landed on the mat after the fallback.

Shi felt the blunt force of the slide-kick with authority but the Devastator from Heaven still rose from the mat and as Franco went for another chop across Shi's sore chest- but Shi catches Franco's right wrist and swiftly positions Franco's shoulder across Shi's right shoulder and the next thing you see is Franco being hoisted up into what looked to be a modified reverse suplex- promptly named the Heaven's Judgement by the color commentator team..... While Franco was out all eyes suddenly turned towards the MortalTron as we then see another live footage of the next adventures of Asstin.....

The scene opens up with Asstin recklessly crashing into every single parked care in the parking lot as he arrived at the stadium where Emergence is held.... FINALLY the car SLAMS right into the elaborate limousine which was adorned by Japanese flags- one to believe this had to been Shi's ride because Shokuo was on his knees crying!

The cameraman zooms in close along with 5 referees and medical teams... even the fans were shocked along with Missy and her Auntie......




Micheal Cole: "Omg.... OMGGGGG...... WAS THAT ASSTIN IN THAT CAR.....AND IF HE WAS..... OMG IS HE STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!"


Countless attempts to pry the doors open was futile- then an emergency clown truck comes roaring into the parking lot- apparently, the only service that was available during this time....



The clowns hop off the fire truck and even some tripped on themselves.... some time later, they finally take out a small plastic jackhammer and attempt to pry the doors and windows open but to no prevail..... giving up, one of the clowns pops open the LAST remaining beer.

Micheal Cole: "Welll I guess it is hopeless now.... Rest in Peace Ass..... UT OH!!!!"

The sweet sweet smell of beer suds permeated into the air and all of a sudden you hear a loud............."WHAT!?!" coming from inside of the car..... within a millisecond after the beer was opened.....




ASSTIN BREAKS THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE CAR AND EVEN STONED DRUNK STUNNED THE CAR OUT OF THE WAY AS HE THEN LEAPED ON TOP OF THE CLOWN WITH A SERIES OF FLIP OFFS WITH HIS MIDDLE FINGER... BUT ASSTIN WAS SO DRUNK THAT HE ACTUALLY LOU THESZ
PRESSED THE CLOWN ON THE OPPOSITE END SO ASSTIN WAS FLIPPING OFF THE CLOWN'S DICK!!!!


A good 10 more minutes of action between Franco and Shi occurred in the ring whist as the fans also watched Asstin make a fool of himself on the overhead MortalTrons during the match....

Asstin finally grabbed the beer from the clown but the beer was empty!!! Like a mad hound... you then see Asstin's eyes burn red from being stoned now wandering the hallyway for some beer... meanwhile back in the ring....


Shi now had Franco up in a gigantic bear hug.... the ref was checking vitals.... then all of a sudden, Gunther slides back into the ring and starts up another concert but the gawd-aweful sound coming from Gunther's mouth stunned Shi which released the hold on Franco and then Franco FLIPS with an inverter kick sending Shi tumbling down to the mat... Franco also turned Gunther around and landed a series of French uppercuts which also sent Gunther soaring to the ground...

[Franco Rompere]

Standing over his opponents, Franco yelled, "Supremazia Italiana!" Grabbing Gunther by the legs, Franco locked him in a sharpshooter, causing Gunther to scream in pain. Before he could tap, Asstin stumbled out onto the stage, distracting everyone again with his antics.

Flipping off himself, he said, "WHAT? Where's the beer stand? WHAT? I asked where's the beer stand? WHAT?"

A crew member approached Asstin to tell him where the beer stand was. Asstin thought the man was talking about Bebra and lawsuits for beating her up again. Shoving the crew member off the edge of the stage in a bout of roid rage, Asstin waddled down the ramp. At the bottom, he bumped into Missy's wheelchair. It wasn't a hard bump, but she fell out anyway.

"I THINK I HAVE WHIPLASH!" Missy screamed, grabbing her crotch for some reason. "I WANT THAT MAN ARRESTED! HE ASSAULTED ME!"

Amile turned to yell at Asstin for harming her precious niece, but he'd already moved on. Puking on a camera lens, he tried to climb the barrier into the crowd where he saw a man holding not one but two cups of beer. Too damn stoned, Asstin only ended up falling onto the floor. Flipping off the barrier, he stumbled back to his feet and started lifting the ring skirt to continue his search for beer.

In the ring, Franco had loosened his grip on the sharpshooter while watching Asstin in utter disbelief. Gunther could've easily escaped. Instead, he started up yet another concert. Shi, having had plenty of time to recover and screaming in Japanese over Gunther's awful "song", moved behind Franco to apply a shoulder claw.

Franco released Gunther's legs and Shi released the shoulder claw, only to grab Franco's head, still from behind, and deliver an inverted DDT. This didn't stop Gunther's singing however. In fact, with his legs free, he started humping the mat. Shi screamed more and hauled Gunther up, lifting him high into the air before dropping to one knee and giving Gunther a backbreaker.

With both of his opponents down, it was the perfect time for Shi to win the match. He, nor anyone else involved or watching, expected Asstin to choose that moment to finally enter the ring, at last having found two cans of beer. Two already open, warm, partially consumed cans of beer leftover from whatever event took place in the arena before Emergence.

Slapping the cans together, Asstin guzzled the flat beer. Crushing the cans, he dropped them to the mat and stumbled over to Shi. Belching piss-flavored air into Shi's face, Asstin said, "WHAT? Asstin 69:69 finally found some beer! WHAT? I said Asstin 69:69 finally found some beer! WHAT?"

[Gunther]

Shi wiped the beer mist off of his face and answered Asstin with a behemoth of a headbutt instantly downing Asstin to the mat with a wide gaping cut on his forehead, pouring out blood and made Asstin head to the ropes! By this time, Franco settled into one of the turnbuckle corners to just watch this massacre unfold..... while Gunther just finished humping the canvas and proceeded to light a cigar as though he just has sex.

Asstin's body essentially ricocheted against the ropes - Shi Dorsujun Ku along with his manager screaming outside uniformly roared at the same time as Shi slammed his entire shoulder frame into Asstin's throat with a Running Bull once Asstin collided with the big man. The fans watching in awe saw as beer suds squirted out of every hole from Asstin from his mouth, nose and ass!!! But Shi didn't stop there- Asstin again bounced off of the rope from the last move, Shi screams in Japanese and drops to his knees with his arms outscreatched along with his two index fingers pointed at Asstin's heart.... Asstin somehow seen this or the lack of Beer in his veins caused him to collapse before Shi could finish off his opponent with the horrific Devastation of the Gods.




Micheal Cole: Asstin almost died there!!!




Asstin was then convulsing in a Beeramedic coma until Missy, still pissed off that a man touched her, "limps" out of the wheelchair with her crutches in hand.... and, despite her Auntie screaming for her not to do it- Missy enters into the ring and suddenly slams the crutches against Asstin's thigh and as he turned around she DRIVES the crutches into his micropenis.... Asstin couldn't feel any pain and instead screams out "YOU DID WHAT?... Asstin XXX tells you to fuck me in the ass... WHAT?!"

Shi just shook his head and as Missy was going to work on Asstin with the crotches he just ups and lifts her out of the ring by tossing her over the ropes with ease.... suddenly, Franco Rompere got the opening he was looking for and while yelling "Supremazia Italiana" once again he catches Shi unguarded with his version of a reverse code breaker called the Artist's Sketch!

The big man bounced on the mat but gets back up but the fighting Italian unloads fist after fist into Shi's big rounded face causing Shokuo on the outside to yell in Japanese profanities with an occasional reference to "Stupid Europeans."




Suddenly- everyone came unglued as they watched Staphanie suddenly emerge from the backstage and walked slowly to the ring..... Franco was on fire and then he miraculously lifts Shi up and begins running for a Final Touch powerbomb when all of a sudden Staphanie leaps on top of the apron and FLASHES HER TITTIES!!!!!

Instead of an obvious arousal from viewing tits... Franco's eyes were blinded like he just seen the sun... in fact, once Shi got on his feet- he too glanced over and saw Staphanie's puppies and he vomited right there and then and rolled out of the ring to be treated by his manager.... Only Gunther had a hardon which was evident as his hardon lifted him off of the mat..... Gunther did the ding dong and immediately rammed his hardon into the side of Franco sending the Italian down to the mat!!!!



With Staphanie screaming at Gunther.... Gunther does another ding dong and then leaps up on the top rope to land a Tutti Fruti Summersault!!!!